Being Safe vs Being “Right”

Right. Morally or socially correct

Just. Acting or done in accordance with what is morally right or fair. 

“A power struggle collapses when you withdraw your energy from it. Power struggles become uninteresting to you when you change your intention from winning to learning about yourself. – Gary Zukav, best-selling author.

Practical self-defense goes beyond physical tactics and techniques. It goes beyond strikes, weapon defenses, and ground defenses. Practical also means making decisions that get you home safe. One of these involves whether to engage in a confrontation – verbal or physical.   

There are many instances when we witness or are subject to, unjust behavior, that “should not happen” or we deem “morally wrong.”

Some examples:

• someone throwing garbage out of their car or on the street
• a driver giving you “the finger” for driving too slow (I used to get a lot of these)
• someone insulting you or someone you care about
•  a person cutting in front of you to get on the subway or in a long 
• someone damaging or stealing your property

In all of these cases, you can easily argue that the person(s) “should not” be doing what they are doing. In other words, from an ethical standpoint, they are in the wrong. 

From a practical standpoint, however, you need to consider the probable consequences.

For instance, what happens if you chase down the two burly guy and chastise them for throwing beer cans on the sidewalk? You would be in the right legally and ethically but you will not likely change their actions. You do stand a very good chance, however, of getting into a fight. 

Let’s consider an event that happened to me. 

Many years ago, in a city far away, a woman asked me to dance to a slow song. I soon noticed a group of guys glaring at me. My dance partner informed me that one of them was her jealous ex-boyfriend.

I decided it was time to go. 

Some of my friends were upset saying we “shouldn’t have to leave”, it was a public place……and so on.

My friends were right. I had a right to be there and the ex-boyfriend’s sense that the woman I danced with somehow belonged to him was offensive at many levels.  

Practically speaking, however, I knew that if I stayed a brawl would ensue. Some practical concerns crossed my mind.

• fighting leads to pain, injury, even death, therefore avoid if possible.
• going to jail isn’t fun, going to the hospital isn’t fun, going to funerals isn’t fun.
• there were 6 of them and 3 of us
• my friends can’t fight (they didn’t know it at the time)
• the perturbed group of men did not seem to be in the mood for rational discussion
• there were other more hospitable places to enjoy the rest of the night.  

Begrudgingly, my friends went along with my logic and we enjoyed the rest of the night. I haven’t thought about that incident until I wrote this blog. 

Of course, there are times when we must risk ourselves to be right. Many people are doing this every day, fighting for human rights and many other vital causes. These people are courageous and inspiring. 

My point is that you have carefully weighed the consequences.

Pick your battles wisely. 

Image by analogicus from Pixabay 

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